What To Do When You Have Anger With Your Homeschool
This post on anger with your homeschool is fifth in a blog & Periscope series dedicated to helping homeschoolers work together to overcome homeschool struggles. Scroll down for more post titles, as well as live broadcast Periscope schedule.
Also, make sure to find out more about an amazing resource for moms-7 Days To A Less Angry Mom from Alicia Michelle over at Your Vibrant Family (affiliate link).
Do you ever experience anger with your homeschool situation? If so, how do you handle it? If not, I encourage you to take a deeper look-because we all have anger.
Yes, we all have anger! Anger is a natural human response to the world that we live in. In a healthy sense, it affords us with self-protection (think being in a dangerous situation and using anger to activate necessary systems to defend self and loved ones).
Trouble arises, however, when our anger goes beyond a healthy biological response. When our thoughts and reactions to specific situations rage out of control, anger can be devastating not only to ourselves but to those around us.
We will be looking at what anger is and how it may affect you as a homeschooler.
What Is Anger?
Anger is one’s response to a situation, either internal or external. This response triggers emotional, physical, and mental reactions. For more information about anger, please visit American Psychological Association’s (APA) page on Controlling Anger Before It Controls You.
There are different ways that anger can present itself.
- We may express it through physical or communicative means.
- We may suppress it by pushing it down and trying to hide it.
- We may control it by dealing with internal and external responses.
An angry reaction is often measured through a scale or gauge. For example, on a scale from 1-10 (with 1 being perfectly calm to 10 being red in the face/blood pressure boiling/physically out of control) what number would you give your anger. (We will be talking more about using such scales very soon and in my upcoming ebook).
Anger may also be directed internally or externally. What does this mean? Consider a situation in which you were angry. An example would be getting mad about a scoop of ice cream falling to the ground. Possible angry reactions may look like:
- Outward–stomping your foot, throwing entire cone of ice cream in the trash, and kicking trash can
- Inward–telling yourself that you are stupid for not realizing the ice cream was going to fall
Do you see how both of these reactions are not healthy? Sure, the outward reaction looks like you are dealing with the anger. But, you could potentially hurt yourself-and you are throwing away perfectly good ice cream!
Inwardly, speaking to yourself in such a negative way can have detrimental consequences. Depending on what words are used and how they affect you, such negative self-talk can lead to more anger, depression, and physical symptoms like ulcers or high blood pressure.
What Does Anger With Your Homeschool Look Like?
What do I mean when I say “anger with your homeschool”? A variety of things! Anger with your homeschool could describe your reaction as a homeschooler to an assortment of homeschool situations.
As a homeschooler, have you experienced any of these reactions?
This list-symptoms or consequences of anger-could go on and on. Anger with your homeschool may be easily recognizable-or it may not. Sometimes you need to pause and take a closer look at your specific reaction to your homeschool situation to realize that anger is what is causing the problem.
How To Deal With Anger With Your Homeschool
After determining that anger is the cause of your homeschool struggle, you can take any or all of these steps to transforming the struggle into serenity.
- Relaxation–Use a variety of self-relaxation techniques to calm yourself inwardly and outwardly. Breathe. Stretch. Use visual imagery.
- Change Your Location–Move to a different room. (I often give myself a mommy time-out and it does wonders!) Go outside. Take the kids to the park, mall, or library.
- Problem Solve–Look at what is causing the anger. What can you do about it? Can you remove it? What would be a healthy approach to the trigger?
- Avoid–This step is often overlooked or shunned but can be very powerful. Avoid that which causes the anger (if possible). Co-op making you cray-cray? Then skip it! A particular piece of curriculum makes you see red? Drop it!
- Talk–Communicate what is going on inside (and outside) of you. Journal. Discuss with your spouse or a trusted homeschool friend.
- Laugh–Find something funny and have a big belly laugh. Better yet, step back from the situation and find the humor in it. (I am often surprised just how silly what made me angry actually is!)
- Accept–It is okay to be angry. Give yourself permission to feel your anger. Sit with it for a bit and try to understand it. Then, let it go.
- Reframe–One of my favorites-cognitive restructuring! Jot down your thoughts, feelings, and reactions that you experienced during your anger. Explore positive ways that you can rephrase those words that you tell yourself. (I will be sharing more tips on how to effectively do this in my ebook.)
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Anger is a part of all of us. It is time that we recognize, accept, and deal with it to overcome it as a struggle. You are not alone in this-or any-of your homeschool struggles.
I invite you to join me and other homeschoolers on Periscope on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. I present more information about each homeschool struggle topic. Also, I open the chat to homeschoolers to discuss their current struggles.
Here are the other posts in this series. I pray that they bless you and your homeschool as you work on transforming struggles into serenity.
An Honest Look At Homeschool Struggles
Overcoming Homeschool Anxiety: Interview & Tips
What To Do When Feeling Overwhelmed In Your Homeschool
What To Do When Time Management Is A Homeschool Struggle
Homeschool Comparison: What Is It And What To Do To Overcome
Homeschool Comparisons: Let’s Drop The Labels!
8 Ways We Compare Homeschools & How To Stop
How To Stop The Homeschooler Comparison Game
Has homeschool (or mom) anger seem like too much to handle? I would love for you to check out this valuable resource on 7 Days To A Less Angry Mom. Alicia Michelle has taken this common homeschool (and mothering) struggle-anger-and broken it down into manageable pieces. You CAN overcome your anger-and this video tutorial series and worksheets will show you how!
—7 video classes (10-18 minutes each)
—7 homework packets (over 50 pages)
—Access to Private FB Page for encouragement and accountability
**Until April 12, you will receive $10 off + BONUS video course/homework on how to help kids deal with in-the-moment anger. Enroll now to take advantage of this opportunity to overcome your anger!