Love. That special four-letter word. Love often invokes visions of plump little cherubs flitting about with arrows and our hearts as target practice.
As a mother, love is an easy thing. Our first glimpse into our baby’s eyes and our thoughts of waiting and worry fade away. Holding our child, we know that we will do all that we can to provide support, protection, and love. Adoptive mothers are included here. I have not had the opportunity to adopt but have witnessed the process for family and friends. Such beautiful moments!
Mama, you work so hard! You give all that you can and then some. You stress over your child’s well-being, academic future, and feelings. You pour yourself into your kids, wanting only the best.
I ask you to stop for a moment and reflect on this question: How often do you treat yourself with the same love you give to your kids? To your significant other? To family and loved ones?
When do you make time for self-love?
Aaaah! If you are like many of the moms I know (including myself), you do not make enough time for self-love. You might remember about self-love for moms now and again. But, it’s just not a priority. You have to put your kids first all the time, right?
Well, I’m not the bossy type but I’m here to tell you that statement is wrong. In my mental health therapist style, I typically would suggest that you consider what is best for you and your family, taking a neutral position. I don’t know your schedule and responsibilities and so on.
However, this one time, I am a going to unleash a bit of bossy. But, it’s only because I love you so much and know that you need this tough love (as tough as this non-confrontational mama gets!).
What Is Self-Love for Moms?
Take another moment and think about what “self-love for moms” means to you. Hold on to those thoughts and feelings as you read what I have to share.
Self-love for moms is the unique way a mom takes time to care for herself according to her individual preferences, needs, and life situation.
Breaking down that definition, I want to highlight these components:
- Unique: Self-love may look different for different moms. There is no one way to practice self-love.
- Time: Self-love takes time. From a few seconds to a week away, your self-love practice will take time.
- For Herself: Self-love is something that you will need to do for yourself. No one else can do it for you.
- Individual preferences: What do you like to do? What brings you pleasure and makes you feel loved?
- Needs: Your personality type plays a factor here. Are you an introvert who needs time by yourself to recharge? Or are you an extrovert who requires time with others to feel loved?
- Life situation: We are all at different ages, stages, and financial situations. You may need to adjust your self-love practices to fit accordingly.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman is a popular book filled with information about how different individuals require different ways to give and receive love. Blessing Manifesting has adapted this information for self-love languages. I believe, as moms, we need to break down this information even further.
As a mom, your time is so often not your own. Your family schedule dictates who you take with what where, why, and how. At the end of the day, what did you do (if anything) for self-love?
Self-love entails how you:
- see yourself (body image)
- think about yourself (self-acceptance)
- treat yourself (self-respect)
Self-love can be physical, mental, spiritual, and psychological. When you work on one of these self-love areas, the other components benefit. It is important, however, to acknowledge each type and adjust your self-love practices for optimal well-being. I will be addressing these four components in 10 Powerful Ways to Cultivate Self-Love for Moms.
Why Self-Love for Moms is Important
You give so much of yourself. You pour yourself into your family. Self-love is about refilling your cup, even letting it overflow.
You are a role model. Your kids look up to you every single day. What you say and do carries significant weight.
How often do you tell your kids how amazing, beautiful, special they are? How often do you shower your kids with praise and positive reinforcement?
Think about how often you do the same for yourself.
When you stop to think about it, it can knock you off your feet. Ask yourself, “How can I give genuine praise, support, and positive reinforcement to my kids when I don’t give it to myself? And why don’t I?”
I won’t go on my soapbox about the negative effects of society on our self-thinking. Comparison, guilt, and anxiety have such a nasty influence on what we tell ourselves and, subsequently, how we treat ourselves. I’ll save that soapbox speech for another day.
As moms, we struggle in silence. We may not even be aware of the struggle. Yet, if we knew that our kids or loved ones were struggling with the issue of self-love, we would take steps to do something about it.
I’m calling you out. For your own good.
I want you to be aware of your struggle with making time for self-love. And I want you to take steps to do something about it.
I’m also calling myself out. Don’t worry, I’ll be right here with you!
By acknowledging your self-worth and beauty (inside and out), you will be growing in a positive direction. Taking time for self-love will be life changing, I promise.
“Sure, Amy! Sounds great! Now, how in the world am I supposed to do this?”
No worries! I will be sharing tips and ideas in 10 Powerful Ways to Cultivate Self-Love for Moms. Also, I am working super hard to provide you with the first (and I believe most important) step towards self-love for mom. Strategies and techniques that you will learn and apply when needed. This resource has been a long-time coming and I can’t wait to help you learn and master techniques to transform your thinking.
Remember, self-love for moms is the ultimate in self-care! When you develop a positive self-love practice, you are setting the stage for amazing self-growth and able to give to others from the overflow of love.
Is self-love a concept that you find difficult? Do you struggle with making time for you? What questions do you have about self-love practices?